saw this t shirt centuries ago. wrote it down. found it going through shit looking for my lost passport.

celebrate freedom

1984 by george orwell
a farewell to arms by ernest hemingway
the catcher in the rye by j.d. salinger
the color purple by alice walker
flowers for algernon by daniel keyes
gone with the wind by margaret mitchell
of mice and men by john steinbeck
one flew over the cuckoo’s nest by ken kesey
ordinary people by judith guest
the adventures of huckleberry finn by mark twain
anne frank: the diary of a young girl by anne frank
the great Gatsby by f. scott fitzgerald
the Martian chronicles by ray bradbury
to kill a mockingbird by harper lee
uncle tom’s cabin by harriet beecher stowe

read a banned book

okay yeah i know that i said i’d post in a bit but around here two weeks really is a bit.

tertia and the gay marriage thing, short and sweet. here’s my deal:

in our society we have invested marriage not only with spiritual and religious meaning, but also with legal meaning under civil law. i support your right to be as narrow-minded and exclusionary as you wish in your church, so if you want to marry only 18 year old heterosexuals who don’t use birth control and have unprotected sex only in the missionary position through a hole in the sheets and otherwise sleep on separate beds, exclusively for reproduction and never to derive any pleasure from, be my guest. my problem with your attitude begins when you try to impose your narrow-mindedness on society as a whole.

in a civil society where we espouse freedom and try to prohibit discrimination, creating a system where some people can access some civilly-recognized benefits and others can not is inherently unequal and discriminatory. we use marriage to define eligibility for inheritance, custodianship and guardianship, insurance, entitlements (such as social security benefits), community property, and so on. limiting these rights to heterosexual couples is inherently unequal, especially when they are imposed (as they usually are) on some fundamentally religious basis. if you in any way justify your “man + woman = marriage” thing on anything jesus, god, vishna, the parking goddess, the bible, the koran, the good book, the bad book, that other book, or the dude in church, said did wrote or wants, you are using religion as justification for imposition of your view on society. likewise, if you fall back to “that’s the way it’s always been,” you might consider lots of people used to think that enslaving black people to work in cotton fields was a good and justified thing, and some people still do, even though as a society we have generally moved beyond that notion.

in a society where we value freedom of religion, we don’t do that. it would seem, then, that in the united states, we don’t actually value freedom in the way we say we do. rather, we value the ideal of freedom, but we prefer the implementation of religious bigotry.

there are three solutions to this problem, and i’ll leave as an exercise to the one and only reader which might be better:

1) abolish the notion that we are, fundamentally, a society that values freedom of religion. drop the pretense and state clearly and unequivocally that you need to be a jesus freak to live in the united states, and you must accept the bible as the inerrant word of the spook hisself.

2) abolish the notion that civil marriage, with its rights and privileges, is inherently a male-female thing. in this situation, we would extend recognition on an equal legal (although not religious) basis to all couples.

3) abolish the notion that marriage should convey rights and privileges in civil society and law. doing so would require significant changes to laws on marriage, divorce, property rights, guardianship and custodianship rights, insurance, retirement, entitlements, and on and on and on. but in so doing, we would create a system in which your sexuality does not matter. this would move marriage out of the legal/civil and fully into the spiritual sphere.

patient id:
patient name: ian rainbowjr
date of birth: date

date of service: date

ian rainbowjr is a 4 y old m being seen in the robert w decker pediatric department at the child study center for neurodevelopmental pediatric assessment.

evaluating clinician: devdoc md

accompanied by: both parents

consultation: this appointment is a consultative visit. following this visit, a report will be sent to the referring doctor. this patient is seen in consultation at the request of dr. awesome pede, md.

current diagnosis: selective mutisim by patient report, diagnosed at school.

medications: none

current allergy list: none

chief complaints: not making progress in ppcd, diagnosis is selective mutism, in fine and gross motoer and speech therapy once per week individually. no other diagnosis. has global development delay as well. has many sensory issues and stereotypies. [sic]

history of presenting problem: parents first started to worry around 18 months of age; had been in eci for speech delay starting at age 27 months, never made babbling noises, never labeled things.

uses a few words now, has about 100 words but does not ever answer a direct question. ian can count to 20, knows colors and shapes. at school he will not use this knowledge. will go off in a corner with toys and count on his own but wil not use his numbers functionally.

indicates needs by crying, or just does not indicate. he will bring a cup, but this is new. very laid back, will not ask for things. no favorite toys, or tv show. not potty trained, very apathetic. not bothered by dirty diaper. will follow a point, but will not point to indicate or interest, seems to not want to do things.

walked at age 15 months. first words at age 20 months, choo-choo, made sounds only such as zoom, animal sounds. just started saying mama and dada at 4 years. said i love you once at 4 years.

has some pretend play: appears to make up stories; parents observe him talking in single words to his toys, but never tells them what the story is. often names things. likes to line up cars, races them. loves to spin wheel on cars, likes yarn, likes to lay on ground and watch wheels move or watch water run from faucet, or plays with yarn by running it through fingers.

at school likes to play alone, does not interact with kids in music time or in circle time. lays on ground and plays with toys on floor. likes to use yarn or wheels to go to sleep at nap time.

had ct at age 3 at ccmc normal, dr. brainguy ordered was at neurology at ccmc, dr. genetics did testing for fragile x, normal, and had amniocentesis but do not know what was tested but all normal. audiology behavioral audiogram could not test, think they did oae at ccmc, normal. vision seems fine.

can eat with a spoon but often plays with food instead, uses fingers for most of his eating. scribbles with crayon, cannot color in lines, cannot tell where to use different color, cannot hold pencil correctly, cannot draw a circle. no regression in development. no seizures.

regarding his selective (also called elective) mutism, parents report ian never uses normal language in any setting. his language is delayed an atypical in all settings.

past medical history conceived by ivf, g1, normal pregnancy born at 36 wks, induced due to preeclampsia, wt 4-6, in incubator 10 days, on o2 for a few days. amniocentesis normal, mom lost 2 pregnancies, now has 3 yrs old one girl one boy, doing fine.

medical no significant history of medical diseases.
surgical inguinal herniorrhaphy bilaterial.
childhood diseases/illnesses normal childhood diseases
previous immunizations all are current
other hearing normal
academic history: school: bess race elementary school. isd: crowley independent school district. ppcd.
family history: pedi family history: no consanguinity, no other developmental problems. depression runs in family. parents and siblings normal.
social history: not pertinent to the history of present illness.

review of systems

general: brief review of systems reveals no concerns related to skin, heent, endocrine, pulmonary, cardiac, gi, gu or neurologic symptoms.
all systems reviewed and are normal except as noted. rare ear infections.

physical exam
vital signs
vs-pulse: 102 va vs machine, regular
vs-blood pressure: 119/75 right arm sitting
vs-height: 107.9 cm
vs-weight: 16 kg
head circum: 51cm upper normal range
hearing screening was attempted and this child was unable to cooperate due to lack of understanding.
vision screening was attempted and this child was unable to cooperate due to lack of understanding. audio 2005 at cooks, wnl.
physical exam eyes: no discharge, conjunctive is clear. ent: tympanic membranes clear, no nasal discharge, normal pharynx. mucous membranes moist. neck thyroid: supple neck, no adenopathy. no thyroid enlargement, tenderness, or mass. respiratory: clear to ausultation and percussion. normal respiratory effect. cardiovascular: regular rate and rhythm, no murmur. chest/breast: normal to inspection and palpitation. gastrointestinal: soft, non-tender, without masses. bowel sounds active. lymphatics: no lymphadenopahty. musculoskeletal: no join or bone abnormalities seen, no muscle weakness. skin: no rashes, normal color. neurological: the cranial nerves are intact, no sensory, motor, or cerebellar defects. reflexes are normal. no meningeal findings. genitourinary: normal in appearance, testes are descended bilaterally by history, would not let me palpate.

observations: very little eye contact even on direct request. points to objects on tests with whole hand, rarely looks up at me, often looks out of side eyes. frequently taps face or legs with one or both hands when doing tests. preoccupied with a hand full of yarn bits he brought with him. copies circle and cross but very poor grip on crayon. can name a few items on kbit but can not tell me anything about them, what they are used for, what sounds animal makes, etc.

pediatric testing materials: kauffmann brief intelligence test kbit, matricies ss90, verbal ss80. ppvt iiia peabody picture vocabulary ss87. geselle figures: can draw a simple circle or cross, not a square or triangle. holds pencil awkwardly.

gilliam autisim rating filled out by parents quotient 115, in the average risk of autism. sub scales stereotypes 10, communication 11, social 10, developmental 8. childhood autism rating scale filled out by me with some parent input score is 31, or just above the cutoff for mild autism.

299.00 infantile autism, current or active state
assessment autism plan is as follows: parent support groups such as the families for early autism treatment and the autism society of tarrant county are excellent resources for networking with other parents and increasing knowledge about applied behavior analysts and educational/advocacy issues. the feat organization puts out a newsletter and they provide information and workshops dealing with challenging behavior, helping parents deal with the school issues, etc. an autism packet has been given to parents. i explained the concept of autism to parents; ian seems to be a high functioning autistic, with iq on my screening in the lower half of normal range.

recommend: parents will present our findings and diagnosis to school and see if he can qualify for a classroom specifically for autism, if available. an aba program is often helpful; gave parents a brochure about aba and our program and others in the area. they will ask if aba techniques are available at school.

315.32 receptive language disorder (mixed) does not meet criteria for selective mutism (formerly called elective mutism) in which child talks normally in some settings and not at all in others. ian uses his language skills about equally in all settings, and they are both delayed and deviant (atypical) in all settings, his nonverbal communication is limited as well. hearing has been tested and is normal.

recommend: intense speech therapy as many times a week as possible. referred to ccmc for additional therapy to supplement school program.

315.4 developmental coordination disorder holds pencil, crayon awkwardly, delayed in his drawings. delayed in self care and has sensory issues. recommend occupational therapy as much as possible. referred to ccmc to supplement school program.

lab work: none ordered, he has had considerable already. will have parents sign releases to get work from dr. genetics, brainguy and awesome and review at next visit to see if anything else is indicated. we did discuss risk of recurrence around 5-8% for subsequent pregnancies when one child has autism.

time with patient/parent
total 90 minutes. 40 minutes testing.
return visit: 6 months or prn questions, for a one hour visit.

electronically signed by dr devdoc, md, on date

In case you were unaware of just how fucked up Texas is. With appreciation to feministing.

bathtub gin
anastasio/goodman
originally published on phish’s album lawn boy
performed by dave matthews and friends (including trey anastasio)
december 20, 2003
blue cross arena at the war memorial

primary lyrics only

—
brett is in the bathtub
making soup for the ambassadors
and I am in the hallway
singing to the troubadours

the kings are all lined up
outside the gate
and the autumn bells are ringing
but they’ll just have to wait

where is the joker
have you seen him around
with his three coned cap
that he wears like a crown

gave you seen his striped stockings
and heard his sad tale
about the kids under the carpet
and the purple humpbacked whale

here come the ambassadors
they show up one by one
brett is tasting all the soup
to see if it is done

wendy’s on the windowsill
waiting to be let in
and we’re all in the bathtub
making bathtub gin

the kings storm the hallway
they’ve climbed up through the gate
they didn’t mean to be impolite
but they just couldn’t wait

here comes the joker
with his silly grin
he carries a martini
made of bathtub gin

here comes the joker
we all must laugh
cause were all in this together
and we love to take a bath

wp 2.04. joy.

jesus.

so i was going to write first about my experience at a paul simon concert.

as always, the concert was excellent, and as always, the crowd was pathetic. simon crowds are passive, just sit there and clap. they don’t get up and dance or have a good time. it’s sad. of course, in this venue, the concert nazis were out in force actively preventing people from standing up, so that didn’t help. this is the second time i’ve been to an event here where this happened, and i won’t go to that venue again.

but of course life got in the way. So I haven’t taken the time to update the site the way I should have. But now I have some good shit to talk about.

School: I finished the summer semester with a b in microeconomics, and an a in business law. That brought my GPA up to almost 3.3. The semester went by very quickly, and I’m glad. Two more I don’t have to take.

For the fall on taking two classes again. This time I am doing “interdisciplinary process,” which is essentially a research course required by my academic department. Well, it is required for new students who joined the program on the 2006 catalog. Since I am on the old catalog it is not required for me, so I am taking it as an elective. Last spring, I took the first of the three “interdisciplinary studies” course is, called “interdisciplinary perspectives.” Essentially it introduced what interdisciplinary studies are and a little bit about how to do them. We used a single class topic, global warming, as an exercise in how to do this. (Lots of people thought we were studying global warming, and they totally missed the point. the class was about how to think from multiple perspectives, which is very difficult for some of these people.) I got an a in that class, and enjoyed it a great deal.

This time we are doing suicide terrorism as the class topic. We won’t have to do a complete paper basically without instruction at the end of the course, like we did last time. This time we will do it in pieces, and groups, over the course of the semester. Again, I’m having a fantastic time in this course.

the other course I’m taking is the psychology of women. I haven’t decided whether or not I like the instructor, but I can tell already I do not like the book. From what I can tell, the book is all about how the differences between men and women are caused by men subjugating women, men abusing women, men objectifying women, societal pressures on women to conform, and so on. So far, it seems to be a man-bashing book.

work: work remains incredibly challenging, and the boss can be difficult at times. I suppose he is like any boss, but that doesn’t make it any easier, especially since he is in Australia with all the naked women, and I’m here.

He came to town at the beginning of August and we decided to move our shipping operation to me. So now I have custody of all 9000 copies of our DVD products, and when we get an order in, it is my responsibility to ship them out. We don’t get many orders in a week, but we hope to start a retention program using them, so we expect that the volume will increase significantly.

As part of this effort, the boss agreed to rent me in office again. So I rented a place less than 2 miles from my house. Because of the nature of my work, I obviously don’t discuss it in public a lot, and I deliberately omitted the fact that I work for Novell website. So I’d been in there three weeks when they handed me an eviction notice for running a sexually oriented business. Never mind, of course, but I don’t have any walk-up customers and that as long as they keep the door closed nobody has any idea what I do in there. Nope, not good enough, get the hell out right now. So I packed all my shit, including the 9000 DVDs, put most of it in a mini storage shed, and moved the office of the structure back home. Since I had just gotten into the groove of working at the new office, having to tear it down and move everything back to the house has been a major disruption for me, my work pattern, and my family. It has been extremely frustrating.

So I am trying to run a new office, and this time I’m being more upfront about what I do. I found a great place that will work very well, but it is owned by some big national corporation, and while local management doesn’t have any problem with me doing what I do, I asked them to write me a letter saying that they know I run an adult DVD warehouse, and as long as I don’t have walk-up traffic and make it a retail shop, it’s okay with them. But of course the local people do not have the authority to write that kind of letter, and the people who do have that kind of authority either do not want to write the letter or do not think my business is important enough, so I have been waiting a week to hear from them. I am moving on with my search because I don’t have time to waste. fuck them. I offered to prepay six months in advance, and apparently that’s not good enough.

dave: I went to see Dave in Dallas, and had a fantastic time. I also bought tickets to the Rolling Stones in El Paso in October, and Dave is the opening band. I expect to have a fantastic time there too.

I have also gotten involved in a fan tape trading site called dreaming tree, a reference to a song title. Dreaming tree, along with other sites like ants marching and etree (which features more than just dave), allow tape and recording traders to reach each other in a logical use of the internet for this sort of stuff. Now instead of trading crappy cassette tapes, you can pick up digital lossless recordings of your favorite shows, sometimes the morning after they happened.

White trash: I’ve talked before about our occasional white trash weekends. Sue and I had another one tonight and had an absolutely fantastic time. we started the evening with dinner for me at a steakhouse (since she had had spaghetti with the kids and was not hungry, but I slept through dinner), and moved from there to the vodka bottle that she had tucked into her purse. She nursed the bottle while I drove.

And we wound up here again.

She needed a touch up on her fairy and moon, and not quite on the spur of the moment (we’d been talking about getting together with her since the dave concert in mid-august), i met someone i’d like to introduce to you … her name is nancy.

click to enlarge

That is the dave matthews firedancer logo. although she looks all red, that is only because of the skin irritation. That picture was taken only 3 1/2 hours after the tattoo was put on, so it is still very raw. The color is actually a gradient, with red at the feet to Orange at the middle, ending with yellow at the hands. I had it put on my upper left shoulder, so that would be covered by a T-shirt. But, of course, when I go to Dave show, I will roll up the sleeve (maybe even pin it up). The image is shiny because I took it myself (shooting your left shoulder with your right hand is a bitch), and because it’s covered in antibacterial ointment. I will post another picture when the color has had time to settle down.

No, I do not have plans for any more tattoos. Sue suggested I put Boyd’s name below Nancy, because of course she knows that he is my hero, but I decided to pass on that. (anybody who can jump up and down on stage while playing a violin has got to be good.)

after the tattoo parlor, of course the next place we needed to go was the titty bar, where sue got so horny (and so drunk) she threw up.

So, there you go. That’s what’s up. Nothing, and everything, as always.

update: i’ve taken a bath and cleaned the blood and dead skin.

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

the christiban is at work again, attempting, through legislation, to decide what is right for you to view. now, they can’t outright ban my work yet, but they are trying to make it extraordinarily difficult and dangerous.

that’s right. dangerous.

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