Wednesday, June 21, 2006

tap tap tap ...

... as cecily commented once, in one i think i accidentally erased ... is this thing on?

so an update.


first, in the "calls you do not want to receive at 9:15am when you've been asleep for an hour and was up all night" department.

"i wanted to let you know that your mother checked herself into a psychiatric hospital."

so i have schlepped to san antonio to see what the hell is going on. and what the hell is going on is ... not a great deal.

i can not say too much because i do not want to discuss secrets that are not mine, but it would be appropriate to say that a large part of my mother's social life is based on a past that did not actually happen. she has been found out, and the results remain to be seen. some significant relationships in her life were based on this fabricated past. i, of course, have known for something like 15 years that it was all bullshit, but i said nothing because i saw nothing but pain to be gained by my doing so. her husband especially would have been devastated if he'd known.

her motivations can be described as unclear at best. she claims a disassociative disorder led her to flashbacks and dreams of the events that she didn't participated in, and after she got involved in the associated community of people, she realized that it hadn't happened, but by then she was in too deep.

the smarter thing to do might have been, perhaps, to pull away without discussing the real reasons. we've all lost touch with someone for any of a number of reasons, and doing so could have been done, i think. but whatever.

now someone has asked for proof of her participation, and of course it does not exist. this led to an episode of extreme depression and suicidal ideation, and so here we are.


my next task is to get her out of the hospital before they carry her out feet first with a sheet over her head. she is actually pretty lucid although hasn't discussed much about motivation and what-nows and so on.

the point of these hospitals is to get you off the ceiling and get you back into society after 3-5 days. but while you are there, it's unlikely that you're going to be an effective patient advocate for yourself. many of these people do not know up from down; one of them shits on her bedsheets and then pushes her soiled linen across the floor in huge piles, also stealing linens from other patients when she can. when i was in one of these places, there was one guy who was stark raving nuts; his only reason for staying was so that his insurance would maybe approve covering shock therapy. when he got it, he was a new man.

anyway, this place has some serious problems, aside from the woman pushing her shit-covered sheets around. (she also serinades the assembeled patients, staff, and visitors with horrendous renditions of "amazing grace," and her own tune, the words to which go something like, "racist, racist, racist, racist, racist, racist, racist, racist.")

first, let's talk about diet.

now, everybody complains about hospital food, and everybody has a right to. even so, a diabetic meal does not mean sending a breakfast danish and fruit cup to the ward with a "diabetic" sticker on it. the first day she was there she couldn't get anything at all to eat. the second day she got a hamburger patty and that was it. today, the third day, they let her out to go with the assembled crew to the cafeteria, where they were serving breaded fried chicken (had to pick the breading off, starch), rice (starch), mashed potatos (starch), and corn on the cob (starch).

okay, so if they don't starve her to death, they'll kill her with medication.

it is the responsbility of the nursing staff to follow the orders. so when the orders say you get one pill of blood pressure meds, you get one.

except the pharmacy didn't have one. call. they'll send. three hours later. call again. they're out, they'll get some from the grocery store down the street. never comes. next day, they send double the dose, plus double the dose of the other blood pressure med, plus a third blood pressure med she's not supposed to be on.

now remember that most people here don't know up from down. the night before the doctor had said to my mother that hers was the third complaint that day he'd gotten of a medication error. most of these people will swallow rat posion if you put it in front of them.

if she'd taken the bp meds like they handed them to her, it could very well have killed her.

christ. isn't america's profit-driven health care wonderful?


okay, other news.


i've recently taken to reading the adventures of dr. diana. diana york blaine phd is an instructor at the university of southern california. her aredently-feminist viewpoint is eloquently expressed on her blog. i, of course, am an evil misogynist, especially considering my work. just ask my wife. she'll tell you. so will tertia.

i originally found her blog after some news stories about some usc students going wacko over some nude pictures she's posted of herself. (i'll save you the work. i think she's a hottie.)

in time i may slap her with some trackbacks. what she says has merit and is worthy of discussion, but is not the be-all and end-all of what gender relations ought to be.



work is on an upward slope. we've addressed some communications issues and i'm feeling better about my progress there. i'm still not billing the hours i want, but i don't feel like i'm operating in quite the same vacuum.

we may be doing a booth at the big convention in vegas. the one i went to last year. oh joy.



i want some. may have found myself a girlfriend, too.



time for that.


  1. I'm dying to know about your mom's past. My mom has a similar thing--she believes that her entire methodist church participated in ritual satanic sex things with her, including her whole family. Fun.

    And a girlfriend? Say it ain't so. My opinion of you will change. LOL.

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