Tuesday, March 21, 2006

what not to say

got back from a weekend trip to west texas, where my mother's family celebrated her father's 80th birthday. we schlepped the kids out there and in general had a decent time.

i would, however, like to express something that i had to bite my tongue over.

she muttered something about ian dropping her daughter's electronic toy several times. i did not say what i thought.

i wanted to say something like: ian is autistic. i'm sorry he has fine- and gross-motor deficits, which causes him to have trouble holding things. and he's also got a speech delay, which causes him to be unable to say stuff like "i'm sorry." now, i'm not getting all upset at your little brat who keeps pestering me to count her stupid poker chips, telling me that they're pieces of carrot and she's a rabbit, while i'm busy talking to someone i haven't seen in five years. but obviously my child's deficiencies are repugnant to you, so next time we come out here i'll put him in the corner with a dunce cap and make him hold a sign that says tard warning - keep away. would that make you happy, bitch?

but i didn't. i kept it civil. but i was not sorry to see the backside of that woman.

ian's doctor has confirmed sue's and my suspicion: his symptoms put him into the high-functioning range of autism.

his speech deficit manifests as a lack of communication, rather than a lack of ability. it's like talking to a parrot -- he'll repeat what he hears, but he will not use words to communicate.

so the suggestion is to do some vitamin supplements to start with, because there's some evidence that'll help. we'll also do the child study center even though their wait for an appointment is approximately a year. some reading material, keep on with school, that kind of stuff.

so on we go.

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