sue has decided i need a job, el mucho pronto. fair enough i guess. she's also gone and gotten herself a second job.
she's also taken all my computer equipment to an undisclosed secure location, leaving me only my laptop (which i happened to have with me when she did this). she managed this while i was out doing the sell-your-blood thing.
i spent last night sleeping on the couch at the uta library. i got home today in time to do babysitting, something i wasn't sure i really wanted to do, and something i'm not sure i want to continue doing.
but she refuses to negotiate or further outline what she wants beyond a job that pays $1k/mo and works with her bullshit work schedule.
i asked if she wanted me to cancel my foot surgery, 8/11 which will knock me off my feet for a couple of weeks. "you decide." great motherfucking help.
every time i've gotten a job she's found a reason to hate it, so i asked her for a written list of the sorts of jobs she'd find acceptable. "you know what kind of jobs are okay." great help, that.
she has no suggestions on whether i should stay in school or quit, either.
she said she'd do counseling, but wouldn't even attempt to quit smoking, which has been a major beef of mine ever since she lied to me about it when ian was a newborn, and all through the twins' pregnancy.
at this point i'm so sick of her passive-aggressive-then-blow-up crap that i can't decide whether i should grope in the dark with no guidence about what will make her happy, whether i should pack what's left of my shit and leave, or whether i should just hang myself in the bedroom closet.
at the moment i'm leaning toward the closet and i can't really think of a good reason not to. ("your kids need you!" is bullshit. they won't notice and won't remember. they don't give a rats ass about me one way or the other, as long as i hand them their fucking cookies.) i've got the rig in the closet ready. i seriously doubt sue would miss me long; she'd be more pissed at the lost income and the funeral expense. and yall wouldn't miss me either. i'd be surprised if even cecily and tertia read regularly anyway, and i'm not even sure about them. in a few weeks the blog would disappear (cuz the hosting company would zap it for nonpayment), and that would be that.
so there you have it.