Thursday, December 30, 2004

song of the day

r.e.m. - electron blue

you're on your ear, the ocean's near
the light has started to fade.
your high is timed,
you found the climb

it's hard to focus on more than what's
in front of you, electron blue.
adventure rings with a page.
and when,

it dawns on you, it singes blue
your buzz beginning to wane.

adventure has laid its claim on you
it's all you want to do
you, you know where to run
you run electron blue

and who am I?
i'm just a guy.
I've got a story like everyone

but in your eyes,
you look surprised.
and didn't know where to run.

i looked to her
she's found the cure
her future's already begun.

tomorrow is gaining speed on you
it's all you want to do
you, you know where to run
you run electron blue.

you, you know where to run
you run electron blue.

so bide your time
you'll feel the climb
your high it builds like a lightning storm

it sings like pealrs
you know that girl
and no one is any the wiser so

as if on cue
electron blue

tomorrow is gaining speed on you
it's all you want to do
you, you know where to run
you run electron blue

you, you know where to run
you run electron blue

you, you know where to run
you run electron blue.

copyright 2004 buck mills stipe [we still love you bill!]
from the r.e.m. album around the sun

Wednesday, December 29, 2004


so i let my debian mirror get all screwed up, and so i fixed it last night. in the process i did a mysql upgrade that hosed the database that drives wp. well not really hosed. everything was safe but i needed to arrange the pointers again.

so we're back in business.

i've still got a sinus infection from the trip to san antonio. ian remains constipated (this is not news), and life moves on.

my pa is considerably less sore than it was. i've changed jewelry a couple of times, and am now pretty happy with the surgical steel that i have now. (i have surgical steel embedded in an artificial hole poked in my penis that i do not want to close. i'm happy with this. what the fuck?)

the very last of my schoolbooks, a calculator manual designed for both my graphing calculator and my statistics book, has arrived. i'm looking forward to using it. i bought it because i found during my algebra class last year that using my calculator properly saved my ass, and if i'd had a manual to learn to use the tool to do the problems correctly, i'd have gotten an even better grade than i did.

obviously having a calculator will not help not knowing the underlying mathematical principles, but my problem hasn't ever been the concepts; it's been the fiddly computations. i can manually do 37x48, but i might make a mistake. why bother, when i understand the principles well enough and just suck at the arithmetic?

so for the statistics course i have the calculator manual, the solutions manual, and the book. i'm sorta looking forward to it.

what the fuck?

Saturday, December 25, 2004

xmas at the outlaws

the outlaw parents suck, but the rest of the family is usually pretty cool. there's a new member this year -- male sibling's girlfriend. i even told her about my new adornment.

the kids, for their part, were honestly fantastic. a little cranky at the beginning what with all the new people, and a little cranky at the end, because they were tired. but for the most part, right on the money.

my idea for the year was (politically incorrect) chinese gift exchange. the popular items this year were some lottery tickets, a 256 meg flash drive, some candles, and a gift certificate to a bookstore. i wound up with the 256 meg flash drive. sue got the gift certificate. we bought the blanket (won by the new girlfriend-in-law) and the wooden suit hangars (won by the people who wear suits).

for the most part it was pretty good. we did brine- (salt-water) basted turkey, and that turned out really well although the gravy wound up entirely too salty.

the sibling-out-laws will remain in town for a while, but the hard part is over and i'm glad.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

prenatal baby names

julie: batman
chris: the grunion
getupgrrl: hers is too new to have announced names yet.
cecily settled on nicholas and zachary for the boys that she lost in october.

me and sue: pregnancy #1: baby hank
pregnancy #2, which we knew was twins from the beginning: riff and raff

triumphant return

we're back, and there are many exciting items of note.

the night before we came home, i took sue out to dinner, and it was actually pretty disappointing. on the way over there, we saw a sign for a tattoo parlor.

after dinner, we said what the hell, we'll go. so we went and saw what they had to offer. lots of very beautiful dragon art. A really cool mona lisa with her blouse open, nipples exposed, and her smile slightly more pronounced.

sue and i have been joking for years that if she gets a tattoo, i'll get a prince albert. so. there we were.

and it turns out they were about to close, so we made an appointment for the next afternoon.

and we went. and we got it done.

sue got a fairy on her left upper chest, and I got ... a prince albert [explicit content warning]. the one i got is like the one in the center, only thinner wire.

I was actually very happy with the process. Sterile equipment, gloves, the whole bit.

what i didn't understand is that an object called a "receiving tube" is shoved ... up there ... so that when the needle is jammed in, it stops without going too far. the needle them goes farther up the tube, and out the urethra. the receiving tube is then pulled out and the needle is left threaded through, and is used as a guide for inserting the jewelry.

an observation: you never, ever want to hear your piercer say "oh fuck" while he's got a sharp object in one hand and the single most sensitive part of your body in the other.

what had actually happened was that after he was actually done with the piercing, the needle came out and he hadn't gotten the jewlrey threaded through completely, so he had to ... uhm ... find the right place.

it hurt considerably less than i thought it would, and it bled much less than i thought. even so, sue, getting her tattoo in the next room, heard me and hoped it was the piercer and not me.

the downside is that the thing has come apart and now i'm going to have to have it attended to and the jewlrey changed out much sooner than i thought. as i write this, what i've actually got is a curved wire through the piercing, and a bandaid over the opening so it doesn't fall out. the last thing i want is for it to need to be redone. and i'd feel bad if it gets screwed up before i have a chance to ... play with it in a private setting. (when would i play with it in a public setting?)

sue's tattoo is a winged fairy, purple background, orange body, greenish wings. Really pretty-looking.

beyond all that, the trip home was pretty boring. we decided to use I-35 instead of the usual road home (us 281) because we'd earlier had to have a tire plugged because we'd picked up a nail somewhere lalong the way, and we wanted to be on a real road in case there was a problem with the plug. the kids stayed up the entire way (which is odd because we left at 9pm, got home about 130 am), and ben stayed up another two hours alternately screaming and running around. sue and i let him stay up until he finally fell over and let me take him to bed.

so we're home. we're not returning any time soon. we had too much trouble getting the kids to sleep down there, and are having trouble getting their sleep schedules adjusted again now that we're home. we're going to wait a few years until they're more able to cope with being in a different place.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

hot tubs and other wet things

a trackback on julie: dairy queen is actually a small (and shrinking) chain of restaurants here in texas. the steak fingers are good if you like meat with your grease. but i like you better, hon. stuff's in the mail.

we left the house today at about noon on the way to san antonio to visit my mother. i'd wanted to leave by ten, but the main reason i wanted to leave that early, in truth, was because i knew if we set an early time we'd actually get out about the time we did. if we'd shot for a 1pm leave time it'd actually be 3pm or 4pm by the time we actually pulled out of the driveway.

as is our custom for family outings where i'm a participant, i drove. the trip itself was mostly uneventful. the only serious setback was in the town of hamilton. i tend to think of hamilton about "half way" to san antonio, even though i doubt it's actually half way. i also tend to think of marble falls as "almost there," even though it's still another hour or so to our destination.

anyway, hamilton. during the trip through hico and hamilton, ian had been bawling up a storm and we really didn't understand why. sue had fed him some apple juice and crackers and whatnot, but nothing calmed him. eventually he did quiet down, but apparently when she handed him a piece of pop-tart he shot her this "eat shit!" look that only a two-year-old can muster.

when we stopped in hamilton at dairy queen, sue discovered what she couldn't have seen before. now remember, we drive a mini-van, one of the ones with two rows of back seats. because of the configuration of the van, we can only put two seats in the front, and so one child has to go in the back. that's always ian, even when he rides alone.

the downside to this arrangement is that our view of him is blocked by the seat (in the driver's case) or by samantha (in the passenger's case), and so it can be hard to fully understand what his problem is.

his problem was that he'd gotten car sick and vomited on himself, and we didn't have the wits to realize it. the poor kid must have sat there in his own vomit for upwards of a half hour before we realized what was going on and got him cleaned and changed.

one of the big successes of this trip is the playskool table. it's an outdoor-style picnic table made of plastic, but it's light and small enough for our children (2, 1, and 1) to fit into it. when we go on eating jaunts and other family affairs likely to involve copious amounts of food or copious amounts of time, we drag it along. it fits in the space vacated by the minivan seat we removed, and the kids are comfortable eating at it without much adult supervision. that's good because it frees us up to eat at the adult's table in something resembling peace, instead of having a two-year-old en-lap and plate-a-noshing.

so that seemed to be wet number one.

wet number two surrounds a new device recently installed in my mother's (copious) back yard: a new hot tub. it's got the variable lights, variable jets, programmable temps, the whole bit. the other exciting thing it has is a full-cover gazebo, and it's also well-hidden from the street and eyes of prying neighbors, affording the possibility of frolic-a-natural, something, in my horny-little-bastard heart, consummately to be desired.

in a 100 degree tub, even with the doors closed (and the heat trapped in the gazebo), you can stay in there and relax for a considerable period of time. open up the doors so some of the heat and humidity escapes from the air, and it becomes even better. repeat for as long as you can stand it.

since this is supposed to be a family trip (although i brought along my laptop so as to not have to use my mother's awful spyware-ridden piece of shit), i managed to convince sue to hit the tub with me, and she was silly enough to forget her suit, which meant jumping in ala-skin. while doing this inevitably invites sexual advances from me (and tonight was no exception -- refer horny bastard above), we did actually manage to relax for the better part of an hour after getting the kids to sleep (which only took the better part of an hour).

however, both ian and ben are asleep with mommy as i write this, meaning there's no way i can sleep in there. i can go into the room sam is in and sleep on the twin. but i'm 6'4" tall and when in the hell am i going to fit into a twin bed? i'm going to have to venture in there for covers, though and curl up on the couch before too long. it's 0300 and the kids will be awake in just a couple of hours.

on tomorrow's agenda, puttering around the house followed by a romantic dinner for two at one of san antonio's oddest restaurants, the magic time machine. we will no doubt indulge in a drink called "the ugly," a blend of fruit juices that comes out looking positively swamp-waterish, with some dry ice tossed in the bottom for added pizzaz. it comes in both a regular and unleaded version. sue will no doubt go for the regular; i will of course select the unleaded. there are times, even with 11 years sober, that i still wish i could have just one with my wife, on our romantic nights out. they are so infrequent.

even so, sue remains as repulsed by my sexual advances as ever. i can't figure out anything that turns her on, and she jokingly calls it the jackpot theory of positive reinforcement. (it only works in humans, and if you take intro to psychology you'll learn about it). still, it's well-nigh on impossible to get anywhere with her 99% of the time, and nice things i do are always interpreted as an attempt to get her horny (or willing) enough to "spread 'em wide and take it deep."

and on those occasions when she is willing (once every week and a half tops), it is indeed just that -- willing, not eager, not participatory. same stuff, every time, and it amounts to ... well ... masterbating into my wife. that's not the kind of healthy, loving sexual relationship i want.


Friday, December 17, 2004

search terms

it's always fun to see how people get to my blog, and periodically i post what i find. most come from the infertility blogs where i leave comments, but a few arrive by such google terms as:

dick meow olivia -dark -porn -adult -president -newton


wife wants to fuck singles who like causing pregnancies


Longest a pregnant rabbit can go

or a link from a blog entry that lists wordpress blogs from new zealand. which is nice except i'm in texas.

the longest a pregnant rabbit can go is actually from an aol search.

still, it's odd.

grades are posted

yippeeee. grades are posted. so.

geology 1 - geol1403 - a
american history 1 - hist1301 - b
texas government - govt2306 - b
intro to psychology - psyc2301 - c
concepts of physical education - phed1164 - c

so that makes a 3.0 for the semester, good enough to get that scholarship i talked about a few posts back, and good enough to get past that stupid scam phys ed course.

next semester: children's lit, statistics, geology 2, and technical writing.

fucking joy.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

stupid people

the idiocy of my school's technical crew never ceases to amaze me. today is wednesday, and the semester ends tomorrow. while some of the internet-based courses had finals that were administered on campus monday and yesterday, some of them had finals that were administered on the web site and graded automagically.

some of these finals administered on the web site haven't yet been finalized, and some students no doubt still haven't taken them.

tomorrow is the end of the semester and all finals and all classes end no later than about 11pm tomorrow.

so today the site is completely down. not just minor fubar, with html errors or something. not just problems with email getting hosed or something equally stupid. not even something like a server that answers with a 404 (file not found, the error you get when a page is missing or you mistype a file name).


the site is 100% down. no answer. timeout.

mission-critical systems that go down during critical times.

and they expect me to pay for this shit?

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

finals almost final

the stupid physical education final is done. the government final is done. the history final is done. all that's left is the psychology course, and it's the one that bothers me the most. oh well.

looks like i lined up a b in the government course. an a in geology. a b or c in history. who cares in phys ed as long as it's d or better.

just tired.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

free money is good

dear me

congratulations! you have been awarded the dr. charley wootan scholarship for the spring05 semester. this scholarship will be in the amount of $508. the award will first be applied toward any outstanding tuition and fee charges. if your tuition and fees have already been paid, a check will be ordered and sent to the address on file at the registrar's office. please be sure that this address is kept current.

to be eligible for this award you must meet all the criteria listed on the acceptance form that is enclosed. pay particular attention to any renewal criteria, sign the form, and keep the last copy for your records. the first two copies should be returned to your campus financial aid office or to the address listed at the bottom of the form. no award can be applied until the acceptance form has been signed and returned. if you are unable to accept this award, please call my office at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

our best wishes for your continued academic success.

rudy v. gonzales
vice chancellor for financial services

Friday, December 10, 2004

the i's of finals are upon us

today: geology lab
saturday: physical education
monday: geology lecture, texas government, american history
thursday: psychology

in geology, i could skip the final and still pass. in the rest i need to take them but it shouldn't be super-difficult. the one that gives me pause is the psychology one, and it's a good thing it's on thursday because that gives me a while to study.

looking forward, though, i'm going to visit my mother in san antonio the saturday after finals. i'm lookin gofrward to the trip. she has a very nice house, and it's quite relaxing. she's done some really cool stuff in the back yard, creating a natural beauty yard that's basically based on native grasses and plants. and she's thrown in some nice touches, like the little iron cutouts of a family of havolinas, and the bird houses from the university of texas and texas a&m.

the birdhouses are made of boots, with a roof on top. the ut one is painted in orange and white with bevo on the side of course; the a&m one is painted in maroon and white, and has the a&m logo, but there's no hole for the bird to go in and out.

i'm sniffly. i attribute the sniffles to semen backup. a girlfriend would do me some good right about now.

Tuesday, December 7, 2004

fixed really

the migration is complete. all of allevil's functions have been moved to monster, and monster is now serving all requests. the db that runs the blog is protected on the raid array (which makes me very happy), and everything else is working okay. and i've fixed the rewrite problem.

the only remaining hiccup is an issue with the kids' photo site. it's spitting out some errors about file access, but the photos are coming up so it's less an issue than it might be, and i'll track it down eventually.

sold my ipod to my mother. i'm going to be getting one of the u2 ipods. way cool.

Monday, December 6, 2004

fixed kinda

links and searches and whatnot will work, but trackbacks i left on other blogs, or internal links to older posts, won't, at least until i get mod_rewrite and my .htaccess working correctly. this is most fundamentally non-trivial.

but you can leave a comment about how stupid i am, if you wish.

Sunday, December 5, 2004

another migration

another migration, this time from allevil to monster, for the blog and other services. it's gone okay, except i'm having trouble with links. so you can't leave comments, sort by categories, or whatever, until i get it straight. working on it as i write this. blah, i hate this.

Friday, December 3, 2004


See the TURTLE of enormous girth!
On his shell he holds the earth,
His thought is slow but always kind;
He holds us all within his mind.

On his back the truth is carried,
And there are love and duty married.
He loves the earth and loves the sea,
And even loves a child like me.

-- the dark tower - book vi: song of susannah
stephen king