Thursday, September 23, 2004

here i am again

my posting has slowed down considerably over the past few weeks, obviously, because I feel pretty tied up with school and stuff. even if i'm not spending as much time as i feel like i should on it.

i think i did pretty well on my exams this week in texas government and geology. that leaves psychology, another geology exam, and american history next week.

money has been the other big focus, of course. the short version is that there simply isn't enough to go around, and nobody seems to give a crap enough to help. i'm in school full time and working; sue is working; and bad shit keeps happening. this week it's my pickup. the check engine light has been coming on over the past few weeks and adding oil has helped it. yesterday i started to smell burning antifreeze and the alternator wasn't charging hard enough.

looks like a blown head gasket. just what we need. yet another thousand dollar expense.

and of course my sex life is non-existant. i wonder sometimes what i've done to turn her off, and she says nothing. how the hell would i know. for my part i like ... well ... we won't go there. we'll just say that she always wants to be left alone. watching dr phil is more important. even at 3am.

between the money, the slowness of school, and the lack of a sex life (and my inability to enjoy my time with my kids), i wonder what the hell all of this is for.

my dad has promised to send me through a paralegal class. like everything he promises, i will believe it when i see it. it's a thousand dollars so i figure the chances of a check materializing are small at best.

so here i am, still depressed and spinning my wheels and every time i try to do the right thing (get a shrink, get married, get a car, get a house, get a job, go to school full time, fuck my wife, etc) the universe just shits on me. i'm getting pretty damned tired of it.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004


another week has gone by.

during that week a whole lot of nothing has happened. apparently students are wanting my geology website where i'm putting up recordings of the lectures for my own use at school.

i got a non-responsive response to my open records request about computer usage at school, and have asked for further clarification about it, and am waiting on that.

i'm still not taking my laptop up there my i may go ahead and break "the rules" because the machines in the tutoring lab are infested with spyware (claria) and i won't have my review of the school's website, or my investigation of other schools interrupted by pop-up advertising from bullshit schools. i tried to install ad-aware on one of the boxes today, but the box is so fucked up that ad-aware hard-locked.

so that's where we are with that.

i'm really liking the geology class, though.

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

tutoring and other school stuff

finally did some real tutoring. taught some people to multiply by nine on their fingers. your tax dollars at work.

it turns out there's this special edition of my physical education book this sememster that's only sold on one campus (the southeast, i go to the south), and none of the other campus bookstores seems to know it exists, and even on the southeast campus it's not in the section for distance learning courses, it's in the regular section. the other campuses are selling the wrong book for my section.

so i spent $40 we don't have to buy this stupid book. again. other students are even more screwed because they bought the wrong book, opened the shrink wrap, and now can't return it because they've broken the wrap. i'm sure the scenes will be fun.

i'm still waiting on acknowledgement of my open records request on the laptops.

Saturday, September 4, 2004

the day's comments

today we took the boys to ride the train (our daughter being with grandma for the day). typically, benjamin didn't care one way or the other, and ian spent the entire trip scared out of his little wits. poor kid. but he's speaking to us again now. won't shut up, in fact.

in the car on the way over there, sue confessed that she spent part of the night last night reading my email because the dsl line was down and there was nothing else to browse for.

since i no longer use my home email address to correspond with my myriad of girlfriends (since that got me burned once in the past), it didn't really phase me too much. i wasn't real keen on her knowing that i'd been to a homeschool thing near our house, but that was mostly because didn't want to hear the ridicule of the idea, not because it's like some huge secret or something.

she categorically rejects the idea of home schooling for reasons that have as much to do with her belief that we're incapable of it as any belief in the superiority of public education.

still, she agreed to read a pros/cons list that i'd written for someone on the list and see what she thinks.

i suppose what's most irritating about it is that she basically refuses to even consider the possibility, and is unable to articulate any rational argument in favor of her position. her argument is stuff like "kids have to learn drudgery." what the fuck does that mean? That means that we have to teach them that learning is an experience only done in a place that's filled with negative influences that can be physically dangerous (especially if they're percieved as non-conforming)?

so anyway, i printed out my essay (previously posted) and we'll see what she has to say about it.

Wednesday, September 1, 2004

two days in

two days into school, here's what i can tell you:

i may very well like the student assistant job, except for its drudgery. i'm doing computer lab support and am doing some tutoring. considering how hard i worked for the b i got in algebra, tutoring in algebra is a laugh for me.

i'm going to be up to my ass in allegators with all this work. the reading is going to be a complete and utter bear. there's so much of it.

my school has a fucked-up policy on student laptops. students essentially can not bring laptops to school. their use isn't permitted whether or not they're connected to the network, and the wireless network was closed several months ago because (holy shit!) people were using it. but i've never actually seen this policy in writing, only been informed of it by my work-study supervisor, and so i've written another open records request for an actual copy of the policy.